I’m leading five weddings this summer. Every single one of the couples are convinced they have found true love. I really, really hope they have. Everyone wants someone who will love them “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
Today people try to find TRUE LOVE through things like The Bachelor or the Bachelorette TV shows, through dating websites and apps and through social media. Those systems can work but the truth is TRUE LOVE is more of a choice than it is a feeling. When we decide to get married to someone we are called to love our spouse through whatever situations come. We are to love them as Christ loves us. We are to cherish them as Christ cherishes us. (God’s Word does allow for divorce in situations of marital unfaithfulness. Matthew 19:8-9)
The most used passage for weddings is 1 Corinthians 13 even though it is really describing God’s love for us, not love between a husband and a wife. Anyway, one part of it says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Corinthians 13:4-5) Notice how this passage describes a decision to love with kindness, without envy, without being self-centered. It doesn’t describe love as a feeling but rather as something we commit to doing.
There is no doubt that marriage can be hard. People can really hurt each other. We can really hurt our spouse and vice versa. But the end goal for marriage is mutual support, not happiness. Every day you have a decision whether your marriage is going to be great or not. Every day you have a decision of whether you are going to love as you desire to be loved. Every day you have a decision whether you will forgive or not. Every day you can commit to loving your spouse for better or worse or try to force them to be what you want them to be.
It’s not easy. It’s not modeled well in our culture. It’s kind of traditional. It’s kind of old fashioned but I encourage you to decided to have a great marriage by doing your part to make your marriage full of TRUE LOVE.
Pastor Chad Starfeldt
Pastor Chad Starfeldt was installed at Shepherd of the Hills in June of 2012.